BEDM Day 27: The most ridiculous beauty haul in history (aka “The one with all the selfies”)

Well, yesterday’s post was a bit of a heavy one, so I thought I’d change things up today with something lighthearted! Now y’all know I don’t do makeup posts or beauty hauls. It’s totally out of my comfort zone and there is one massive, glaring reason why.

My makeup skills are minimal.

I can’t contour, I’m scared of bronzer, and I honestly just realised what a highlighter was for a couple weeks ago. I have had a BeautyBlender for ages but only just this week figured out how to use it. I AM NOT JOKING. I’m not great at finding what products would suit me, so drugstore cosmetic brands scare me, and I don’t like being left to fend for myself at the makeup counter. I have 8000 lipsticks in every shade because, well, you can’t really fuck up too hard with lipstick. 

I don’t even wear mascara. My eyeliner is a semi permanent tattoo. I get my eyebrows done at a salon because every time I have tried it myself, they’ve looked not like twins, not like sisters, but like one was savaged by a wild eyebrow-eating coyote and the other just sat by and helplessly watched the carnage. 

This week Emily and I went shopping, and we decided to make a pit stop in Superdrug. For shampoo, conditioner, and you know…12 BLOODY LIPSTICKS! Yes, I *might* have gone a little Tasmanian Devil on the MUA and Makeup Revolution stands. In my defense, I had heard some good things about both brands, not to mention the price point was cheap as chips. Cheaper than chips in fact. I’m sure I have eaten chips that cost more than a quid. 

Ok, first of all, packaging. I dinnae give a toss about packaging as long as what’s inside is good. If I had to say anything about it, then personally the matte liquid lipsticks in the matte packaging made sense. They looked nice. That’s more or less where my opinions begin and end on lipstick/gloss packaging.

I decided to go from most to least sheer because some of the last vestiges of common sense broke through and I realised I wouldn’t be able to scrub the long lasting formulas off. 
1. MUA Sweet Sheen Lip Balm in Coral Reef
Very moisturising, very pretty and easy to wear coral/pink colour. Smelled like lipstick. Went on like a tinted lip balm. Good subtle shade for everyday wear. I didn’t hate it. It wasn’t very “wow”, but I guess it isn’t meant to be. 


2. MUA Sweet Sheen Lip Balm in Cherry Bomb
Same formula, slightly more of a *surprise surprise* cherry tone. Still smelled like lipstick in a wonderfully inoffensive way. I much preferred this shade and I could see myself wearing this a lot. It’s definitely more “me”. I’m a very lippy person.

3. GOSH Lip Oil in Rose
No colour that I could see on my lips but it was a nice, non-sticky texture and I really liked the formula. Zero smell to this baby and I would totally wear this over lipstick for a bit of shine. In fact I tried this earlier with on

4. Makeup Revolution Lipstick in Dazzle
Texture was ok with this one, quite creamy – creamier than I expected for a £1 lipstick. No smell and the shade was pretty much the same colour as my hair. I’m undecided about the colour of this one but that might be because it’s a little match match with my hair 


5. Makeup Revolution in Lady
Same formula, but I felt slightly more “drag”. This could have been because I’m not exactly used to trying on 5 lipsticks in a row. Maybe my lips were staying a protest. Nice flattering shade of red that wasn’t too in-your-face. Kinda loved the colour. I didn;t expect to, but then I also didn;t expect to like aloe vera juice. This one felt lovely on and it actually lasted for ages. I went away for a few drinks with a friend at this point because I was frankly quite bored with trying on and taking off lipsticks, then photographing my face. 


6. MUA Lipstick in Persian Rose
A creamier formula than the Makeup Revolution lipsticks and nowhere near as opaque. I didn’t really like this colour, it was bordering on the 60s pale pink lips that I’m not so fond of. It felt a bit thin in comparison but we were back to the lipstick smell of the more sheer MUA formulas. I think I might have preferred this in something darker . 

7. BALM Lisptick in Mia Moore
This tingled. In a nice way. Kind of like the feeling of Carmex, and though it went on drier it felt more moisturising. This photo illustrates why it is a mistake to apply a red hippie without a liner. I was on Number 7 at this point and I genuinely could NOT be bothered to faff about with a liner as well as what felt like interminable lip colours. I thought it was never going to end at this point. This was also when Emily informed me I could have just swatched each one on my arm and I growled at her. She will rue the day. On a happier note, this is a very very good true red. Great formula, also had a subtle scent of lipstick which reminds me of cake. Very very far away cake.


8. Makeup Revolution Salvation Lip lacquer in I Fall In Love
This was sticky as hell once it dried and I genuinely hate the colour. That is all I have to say about this one. 

9. MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Zest 
I HATE THE SCENT. This smells like the kind of perfume you buy small children so they can pretend they are wearing fragrance. That or “fruity” nail varnish remover, Goes on really nicely, dries to what feels very strangely like a powder finish. Very very matte. I don’t know if my lips will survive trying on the next 3 shades. I actually really liked the effect though, and this is the closest I’ve ever come to a true matte. Nice bright, summery coral/red colour. Would probably look really nice on someone with fair skin and red hair. I probably should have used it with lipliner and the applicator was rubbish, but it was actually not bad.

10. MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Vivacity
At this point I realised the stress of trying on all these lipsticks had made my face all shiny. Same formula as above but I didn’t love the neon pink colour. Would definitely look better on someone with much fairer or much darker skin than mine. I want to reiterate I still hate the scent.

11. MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Moxie
My favourite of the MUA shades I’ve tried in this formula, a nice solid rose pink . Still smells odd. I am so grateful that I only have one more to try on before I can go to bed and vow never to do a 12 lipstick review again. Please note the manic look in my eyes, which might be due to the caffeine and also slightly due to the fact I have just spent a good few hours of my life applying, removing and reapplying lipstick. I have made poor choices. 

12. MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer in Reckless
Can we get three cheers for the fact this is the last one?? This is a great true red, very very matte like the others in this formula (big whooping surprise) and though it doesn’t feel as “nice” on as the BALM true red, it’s also more than half the price. These MUA liquid lipsticks actually last forever on. I wore this one a few days ago when I first got it and it did not come off, even after food and alcohol and more alcohol. In fact I forgot it was on, went to sleep, and woke up with it still staining my lips. Don’t worry, I took the rest of my makeup off. I’m not *that* lazy. STILL SMELLS TERRIBLE. 

Well there you have it. The most ridiculous makeup haul and review you will ever read. Now I’m going to go to sleep and pretend this never happened. GOOD NIGHT!

2 thoughts on “BEDM Day 27: The most ridiculous beauty haul in history (aka “The one with all the selfies”)

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